I breathed a huge sigh of relief as I paid off the ‘kayayoo’. I had slept very late the previous night but had no other choice than to come to the market to shop for myself and my family. Deciding not to come would have meant my mother taking up the responsibility, but at her age, I did not deem it appropriate for her to be taking frequent trips to the market. I was just about to put my keys into my car door when I heard from behind me:-
“The woman who broke my heart!”
I know that voice somewhere, I said to myself. Oh of course! Kwaku, my ex.
“Gina!” he called out probably assuming I had not heard him. I rolled my eyes as I turned around and managed a weak smile.
“Hey there,” I said trying hard to sound excited.
“Ei! Just a hey? Not even a hug? What at all makes your boyfriend better than me?”
Here we go again. We never meet without him asking that question in one way or the other. Without thinking about my words, I said, “I have never said he is better than you. He is just a better match for me than you are.”
“And what is the difference? Well, I’m not going to fight for you oh. When you break up, I know you would come back to me.”
When? Not even if? I wanted to retort. But I was not in the mood to pick up a fight. Instead I said as calmly as possible, “It’s been three years, Kwaku. Move on.”
“Three years cannot take my love anywhere,” he smiled and drew closer for a peck he never gets. I raised my eyebrow as though I didn’t know what he wanted.
Just then, the driver of the car I had parked behind honked. Thank God! I nearly screamed out loud.
“Gotta go! Kwaku. Bye!”
“Bye, sweetheart! We would surely meet at some odd place like we always do.” He winked.
He was right about that. We always meet at places where I least expect to see him. I started the car and pulled out into the road.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the answer I gave to Kwaku popped into my mind. “I have never said he is better than you. He is just a better match for me than you are.”
I had honestly not thought about what I had said before I said it but somehow, I realised how true it was. Kwaku Baiden is a very great person. He is just not the man for me. I wish I had seen that earlier, that way, I would have still enjoyed the benefits of a great friendship that ended when the relationship ended. I would have willingly remained friends with him but I realised that he was not interested in just friendship with me anymore. It is true opposites attract, but Kwaku and I are extreme opposites! He is on the North Pole and I am on the South. Kwaku is a loud, popular excited man. He loves large gatherings, loves to be the center of attention, and loves to be with his uncountable number of friends. He loves anything but quiet. I, on the hand, am very quiet. I love being home, coiled in a corner with a good book and some fruit juice. Initially, I thought our relationship would be a great opportunity to bring me outside a bit and send him inside a bit too. Was I wrong! It meant I had to be outside with him all the time! It was very frustrating having to attend parties, large parties with hundreds of people every weekend. What even made it more annoying was he hardly spent time with me at those parties. I always sat alone as I watched him jump from corner to corner telling story after story. I was frustrated, yes, but I was determined to make the relationship work. I must say it wasn’t this difference that pulled us apart, but rather a similarity. See, I met Kwaku at a very challenging point in my Christian journey. I needed someone who would journey with me as I strived to draw back to God after pulling away and becoming a mere church-goer due to some disappointments in my life. Kwaku however was more of a church-goer than a Christian. After a month of the relationship, I realised it would be difficult to think he would journey with me. It looked like I had to pull him up. It would have been easier if he was just a friend. Well, that is what I believed. So, taking the firmest decision I have probably ever taken in my life, I invited him over, carefully told him everything I admired about him and everything beautiful the relationship holds. Then I went on to make it clear how much my relationship with God meant to me, especially at that point. And then I dropped the bombshell. I wanted us to break up. He laughed. He laughed that day and has taken our break up as a joke for the last three years. When he heard last year that I had stepped into a relationship, he laughed even harder. I do not know if he is waiting for the day I exchange my marriage vows with Yao, my current boyfriend before he would accept that we have no future.
I know I love Yao very much, but I cannot say I would definitely marry him. I wish I would someday, but life presents us with surprises each day so I would not speak with any certainty. If I want to attach any percentages though, I would say I am 90% sure I would marry Yao. My certainty of not going back to Kwaku is however very high. Let me give that 99.9%!
I spent that two years that followed our relationship discovering more of myself and I have come to realise that yes, opposites attract. But extreme opposites are totally unmatched! That is my candid opinion. I am patiently waiting for a research psychologist to tell me otherwise.
This story first appeared in 16 Secrets I Learnt From My Ex by Bernard Kelvin Clive, an Amazon bestseller. Do download the full book here for free!